My Blog

October 29, 2005 - October 30, 1995 ( A weekend to remember)

Man, I had so much fun this weekend.  First of all, I went to my friend’s birthday celebration/costume party.  Guess what I was??!! I was a big baby.  My friends thought about it an hour before the party.  It was awesome.  All I wore was a diaper.  I can’t believe that I had the guts to wear just that.  Normally, I’m shy just taking out my shirt.  But for some reason, I was okay being semi-nude   I guess I wanted to give people a shock value!!  Believe me, my friends were shocked. 

I guess one of the best part about the party was the fact that all of my friends since freshman year, or at least MAJORITY of them, met up for this special event.  We haven’t had a get-together for a long time…and it was good being complete again.

Another good thing was the fact that I bonded with some of my other friends, considering that I love to socialize!!  They include: Megan, Rob, Rae, Chris, and Eddy!!  Seriously, it was fun hanging out with you guys that night.  You guys were awesome

Now that was Saturday night…the following day, I met up with my family from my mom’s side (Mangahas family REPRESENT).  It was so much fun hanging out with my aunts, uncles, my brother, and cousins.  Two of my cousins came from the Philippines…so it was fun taking them around.  Seriously, I love getting this family high!!!  To top it up, when I dropped my brother home, I saw my Eduvala cousins!!!  What a night!! It was great!!

A couple of my friends are graduating this semester.  Actually, a lot of them are !!!  Man I hate being left behind!!  Like last semester, majority of my close friends graduated.  *sigh*  For some reason, I tend to get close to older people!  I’m like the baby in the group!!  Anyways, my point is, I want to enjoy the company of my friends who are graduating this semester while I still can.  Like I do with all my other blogs, I want to end it with a song.  This song is dedicated to the graduating seniors (Fall 2005), its called Closing Time by Greenday!!!   

Closing time,
Open all the doors and let you out into the world,
Closing time,
Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl,
Closing time,
One last call for alcohol,
So finish your whisky or beer,
Closing time,
You don…

I know who I want to take me home (x3)
Take me home

I know who I want to take me home (x3)
Take me home

Closing time,
Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

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This will be my last blog on friendster, considering that you guys always get a message everytime I blog.  If you guys wanna check out my blogs from now on, just look it up on myspace or livejournal

I think its time for a blog update!  Man I’ve been meaning to write this after my Vegas trip, but I just couldn’t find the time.  It’s funny how someone so young can inspire you to rethink your life.  When I went to Vegas, I talked to Andre Aguirre (one of my close friends’ younger brother).  Well I’ve known Andre ever since he was baby.  I actually remember him when he was riding his stroller back home in Guam.  Anyways, Andre and I had a deep conversation about life.  He was talking about his dreams and ambitions.  His outlook in life totally blew my mind away!  He seemed so determined and he knew exactly what he wanted to do!! 

Didn’t I have goals?  Didn’t I have dreams?  Wasn’t my life set already?  Those were the thoughts that came to my head when I was chatting with him.  What happened to ME?  Yes, my grades are alright, I have AWESOME friends, my family is GREAT, etc.!!!  What more could I ask for right??!!  But, I’ve changed!!  If people back home saw the person I’ve become, they would really FREAK out.  The innocent boy who everyone thought would be a priest or WHATEVER is no longer the same person.  Granted my morals are still intact, but I’ve grown up!  I can my make my own decisions.  The problem is: Am I happy with myself??!!  Do I like who I’ve become?  Honestly, its scary.  I can’t believe the changes that happened in a span of four years, especially this year!!!  There are things that I’ve done this year that I’m not really proud of.  Do I regret it, NO!  I don’t regret it because it has helped me become who I am right now.  It has made me stronger person.  Besides, we learn from our mistakes.

I just wanted to mention that Catholicism has had a huge impact in my life.  I basically grew up in a traditional Catholic environment.  Catholic school, church every Sunday, being a server, etc!!  My brother is even a priest!!  I also wanted to be a priest.  Growing up, I never questioned what the church taught.  I always thought they were right and my convictions were so strong back then.  That was me being INNOCENT!!  However, that’s not the case anymore.  Yes, I love being a Catholic.  I really do!! I would want to raise my kids the same way I was.  The thing is, I don’t agree with EVERYTHING the church says now.  Some of the things are so hypocritical!!  Anyways, I don’t want to go into great detail, considering that religion is a sensitive subject for a lot of people.  I just want to make it clear though.  I love being a Catholic!! I wouldn’t change my religion for anything…however, I don’t agree with some of their teachings!! 

Coming back from Vegas, I thought that I would re-organize my life!  That of course didn’t happen (at least for that time period)!  I ended up partying, ETC, ETC!!!  The partying got tiring.  I was so exhausted with everything.  So I took a break and visited my family back home in Union City.  *sigh*  Visiting them helped me a lot.  I can’t explain it, but visiting my family took a load of my shoulder.  The reception I got from them was unbelievable.  I was MYSELF!  Better yet, I was the person I wanted to be. 

When I got back to the city, I read the blogs of my friends and family.  It seemed like everyone was writing about a life changing experience.  It was weird!!  Was everyone feeling the same way?  I got this story from Sherman’s blog:  In life, there are two cups of tea, one is sweet and the other is bitter. You may choose which one you want to drink first but eventually you must drink both. There is no easy way out. It’s either I work hard now and have comfort later in life. Or Enjoy now and suffer later in life.  The message of the story is awesome.  I can totally relate to it.  Have I tasted the bitter tea already??  God I hope so!   Seriously though, I’m happy I realized that I should get back on track and see life in the long run.  I seriously don’t want to have all the fun NOW and suffer the consequences of my actions in the future.  Damm…I’m still young!  There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish. 

I got this quote from my cousin, Janice: so many people come into our lives but very few become unforgettable. They say there are people who are in our lives for "a reason, a season, and a lifetime. 

This quote really made me think about the friends that I have right now.  Its so true!!  There are people who do come into our lives for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. 

I’m the type of person who enjoys making friends!  It dawned upon me though…who are the friends that I’m going to keep for a lifetime??  I mean, when we go to class, we associate with some of our peers.  Of course, a few of them may be our friends for a lifetime!  Most of them though are our friends for a reason

(which is for that particular class).  I just want to point one thing out though to all my friends…if it seems like I’m busy or I haven’t kept in contact with you, just know that I’m always here REGARDLESS! I treasure my friendship with EVERYONE!!!

I’ve experienced something in my life that has totally changed my life!! I guess you can say that because of this experience, I lost my innocence.  I don’t want to get into specifics because its in the past and I just want to move on. A few of you guys know what happened to me…others don’t!! Let’s just say that I’m okay now. There’s one song that totally captured what I was feeling these past couple months, its called Untitled by Simple Plan:

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I’ve made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I’ve made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I’ve made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

It’s been a long time since I posted up a new blog!  I actually miss it.  Man…so many things have been going on.  I’ve been wanting to document everything thats been going on; however, I haven’t had the time until now.  Besides, there’s nothing to do at work right now. (I think!!)

Last Sunday, one of my good friends, Tricia, left for the Philippines.  I was really sad.   *sigh*  She’s like a sister to me.  The fact that she graduated also makes it even more depressing ’cause I know I’m not going to see her as much as I did last semester.  Tricia…I owe you so much!  I’m sure you know what I mean.  While Tricia left, one of my other good friends (Rocky) arrived that same night.  So its like I lost someone and got someone back.  Anyways, that Sunday night I partied with JV.  To sum it up, I partied with him for a week!!  Man I’m really going to miss that ’cause school is going to start soon!!

While I partied with JV and his barkada, I also partied with a couple of my friends during the week.  *sigh*  They’re my friends since freshman year.  Man I really wanna keep everything as they were.  It kinda sucks ’cause some of my friends have been distant since we moved out of the dorms.  Anyways, I just wanna build up as much memories as we can this senior year.

Last night was such a trip.  First of all, I was at JJ’s apartment and I kinda hung out there.  Around 1 a.m., Rob and I headed back to my apartment.  It was so cool ’cause there was a little "get together" already. (I gave Alvin my spare key).  Joy, Alvin, Kevin, Arianne, and Rob hung out at my place.  SHIT!!  *GOOD TIMES!! CHEERS*

There are other things that happened during the week…but…it’ll take to long to write.  To top it off, a bunch of us had a good Pre-Senior Celebration!!!!  This sounds corny and a little bit religious…but I wanna end this blog with a song:

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter of your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show

We'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

To live as friends

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

No a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

Yes, I’m finally 21!!  My b-day was just a normal day for me.  First of all, I had to wake up around 3:00 a.m. to finish up my project for school.  I had a freaken early class…7:40 a.m.  After class, I headed to work.  Then…I headed to union city to visit my family!

I just wanted to thank all my friends and family that greeted me.  I was really overwhelmed!  All the messages from my space, the facebook, and friendster; the long distance calls from guam and the philippines; text messages; phone calls; EVERYTHING!!  I was really happy!  You know me, I’m a sentimental kind of guy.  I freaken saved everything!!

Since I was pretty sober during my b-day.  A couple of my good friends, Tricia, JV, and Chris, took me out to my first bar (legally that is ) the day after.  Dude I was so buzzed that night.  Love you guys!!!

The Facts of Life

1) At least 5 people in this world love you so much, they would die for you.

2) At least 15 people, in this world, love you in some way.

3) The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4) A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.

5) Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6) You mean the world to someone.

7) Without you, someone may not be living.

You are special and unique, in your own way!

9) Someone that you don’t know even exists, loves you.

10) When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes after it.

11) When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

12) When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won’t get it.  But if you believe in yourself, you will probably get it sooner or later.

13) Always remember complements you received.  Forget about the rude comments.

14) Always tell someone how you feel about them.  You will feel much better when they know.

15) If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

                                                                                      

Well I haven’t updated my blog in a really long time.  The reason for that is because I was recovering from partying and this sickness I had last week.  I’m going to give a little up date from my last blog.  I ended up partying that night.  First of all, I hung out with Qi Wen the whole day Saturday.  She slept over ’cause we stayed up so late from the previous night….we ended up watching two movies at my place.  So yeah…I slept around 7:00 a.m..  and woke up around 10 a.m.  Then I dropped her off at her place so she can shower!! (Thank God) J/J  Anyways, we had a late lunch…I think it was around 3:00 p.m.  After lunch…we just drove around Daly City and headed to the mall.  We then met up with Mario, Arianne, and Alvin for dinner.  I left early ’cause I wanted to have some fun .  After that, I decided to go to the party I was debating the whole day.  SHIT it was so much FUUUNNNN!!!  I partied with Chang, Lance, Angela, Tiara, and this other Guam dude Kimo.  We headed to Oakland around 1:00 a.m.  AAWWW I loved it!  Let’s just say that we got out of the party around 5:30 a.m.  We were suppose to head up to another after party at this girl’s house but we decided to go Treasure Island instead.  Dude treasure Island was awesome.  On one side you can see the sun coming up from Oakland…and the other…you see San Francisco still in the dark…It was amazing!!  I finally got home around 9:00 a.m.  Like I said…it was crazzzyy…but I had so much fun also.  Memories you guys!   Honestly, it was such a bonding moment.  Lance and Chang: these guys are awesome.  I’ve known Chang since high school.  Lance on the other hand, I’ve known him since we were 5 years old.  Seriously, it was cool.  If you ever need anything, just give me a call.; Tiara and Angela: It was cool hanging out again…just like old times…you know what I mean??…shit it was always us three that one semester!

Sunday was rest day for me…I was super tired.  I actually didn’t feel well.  For 4th of July, I hung out with JP Niega.  Good shit again!!  Sometime during the day…I was listening to this song.  The words were exactly how I felt at that moment.  It’s titled "More to Life"

I’ve got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I’m emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I’m missing
And why can’t I let it go

CHORUS:
There’s gotta be more to life…
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I’m…
Trippin’ out thinkin’ there must be more to life
Well it’s life, but I’m sure… There’s gotta be more

(Than wanting more)

I’ve got the time and I’m wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I’m half-way out the door
Onto the next thing, I’m searching for something that’s missing

CHORUS

I’m wanting more

I’m always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin’ like there’s something I missed….
Always… Always…

CHORUS - repeat twice

More to life
There’s gotta be more to life (more to life)
There’s gotta be more to life (more)
More to my life

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy and shit…but I don’t know…the partying was a lot!  Anyways, I was feeling the song.  Do you guys know what I mean?  Do you guys ever feel this way? 

On Tuesday, I got really sick.  It was because of food poisoning.  I had to go to the hospital and stuff.  AAWW.  I guess it didn’t help that I’ve been partying also.  My body couldn’t take it. It took me a week to recover.  I never want to experience that shit again.  Anyways, I’m back and normal again!

Dude…I partied up again last night (Friday).  I guess I’m trying to live it up before my mom gets here   Shit…it was crazy again last night.  Honestly, I KINDA feel bad about partying up and not really.  Anyways, I hung out with Tricia last night before the party.  The party was for Richard.  He’s heading back to Guam for good.  It kinda sucks.  But yeah, I was with Alvin, Arianne, Qi Wen, and a bunch of other USF and Guam people.  It was fun hanging out!  But yeah…I ended sleeping around 7:00 a.m.  The thing is…I might party up again tonight.  I’m still debating.  I’m kinda tired.  But I do wanna have fun!  I"m guessing I should party up ’cause my summer school starts this tuesday.  Man…thats going to mean that I’m going to be up again the whole morning!!!!!!!!  Aiyo…well I’ll think about it more.

Seriously, I had a crazy yet fun weekend again!  Thank God its SUMMER!   Actually, Friday was a bummer.  All I did was work.  Working was so draining that day.  I was on the computer the whole day to finish up this project for my boss.  When I got home, I was super tired and sad.  To relieve stress, I bought hella DVDs.

Saturday was when the party started!  Well I woke up to do some house chores.  For dinner, a bunch of my friends (Arianne, Alvin, Mario, Uri, Qi Wen, Tiara, Angela, Lance, Loren, and Chang) all headed up to this restaurant downtown.  The wait was so long…but the food was awesome.  It was also good being in company with friends.  I kinda partied up at the restaurant   It was all good!  After dinner, Qi Wen and I headed up to my place.  I was suppose to get my gift for Arianne…but Qi Wen and I had ended up having a little party session!  Qi Wen I love you.   I’m really going to miss hanging out with you.  Anyways, we had fun.  We then headed to Mario’s house for the celebration.  We got so drunk that night.  You can actually check out his myspace page and look at one of his pictures.  We all got passed out.  AWWW!  Whatever happened that night should stay within us!  Anyways, I left around 3 in the morning ’cause I had to wake up in two hours to give Janet a ride to the airport.  When I got back home…I slept the whole morning.  In the afternoon, I hung out with my brother…we had some pinoy food, went around the city, and watched a movie.  When I dropped him off the airport, I headed back home.  Sometime during the night, I lost something!!  YIKES

I want to end this blog with something from the musical rent.  This is dedicated to all my friends!!!

Song: Seasons Of Love Lyrics
COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of
love.

SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?

SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

COMPANY
It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let’s celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

Love you guys!  Hope you guys are having a great and safe summer!!!

I got this from my friend Cathy Manlapaz!  She posted it off her myspace awhile back.  I thought it was really good.

I don’t live my life to make myself happy

I just simply follow the way it goes

Life has its ups and downs

And I still go through it whichever way

This journey of life is a mystery

We can’t see the future

But we can look back into the past

The past is what helps us make our decisions

Our past is what makes us stronger

It makes us aware of the future to become

We’re more careful now in our decisions

For the sake of not being shot down again in our lives

We fear living miserable again

It’ll just be too much to handle

Therefore, if we see similar signs again

We decide to not pursue the situation

Just because everything looks the same doesn’t mean it is the same

How do we know the true answer if we don’t pursue the situation?

To know what will really happen in the end is if we take a chance

A chance is taking a risk in our lives

What would you rather do?

Leave it alone and not know the actual truth?

Or take a chance and find out for yourself?

We can’t just ignore things forever

We need to decide someday

Or else somewhere along the road

The confusion will build on

How long will you allow your confusion to last?

You can’t just wait to be ready

You need to make yourself ready not by force but on your own

Build that self-esteem of yours strongly to make your decision in life

It takes time and patience to wait

Waiting for a big step in your life

We can’t be scared for the rest of our lives

We eventually need to grow out of it

Leaving it alone, we all have done that once

And things unexpectedly occurred

But sometimes you wonder, “What if you pursued it?”

You’ll never know now and it’s too late to change back time

That lifetime is now just a mystery

Taking chances, we’ve tried that too

It was a wonderful journey of happiness, but it ended

Leading to a harsh depression of life

It took awhile, but eventually we moved on

So what do you do now?

Do you want things left as a mystery?

Or do you want to experience it till the end?

Maybe it’s about time to be strong

Life has its own circles and throwbacks

But it doesn’t hurt to experience love again

If love fails again like before

Yes it’s tough luck

But at least the experience felt great

And you can look back and smile and say at least I tried my best

Move on and eventually you will find your way

If love succeeds in your journey

Then be glad that you pursued it

Cause if you didn’t you would have never known what it led to

You never lose by loving, you lose by holding back

It should be your heart to choose

Not the mind

Let yourself go with the flow

I had such an interesting weekend. First of all, one of my friends from high school, Michael Odoca, came over. So a bunch of my friends and I took him out to dinner. It was cool afterwards because we had a little party. I never thought that I would party like that with him, considering that he was the class valedictorian! All of that happened on a friday. Then on Saturday, I met up with a couple of brothers to have dinner with Hendry. I’m really sad that Hendry is going to leave us. In all honesty, he is so sincere. A genuine friend!!!! After dinner, we all headed to Tiara’s house to have a little party there also. Now that was so much fun!!! I haven’t had that in awhile. After Tiara’s, Qi Wen and I headed to Mario’s house to have a little drink! We ended up leaving around 3:30 a.m. I had to drive all the way home to Union City!

Now the following day was crazy. Considering that I got home so late, I also woke up late. I woke up around 2:00 p.m. Then my brother invited me to go to the Great Mall. After shopping, we were suppose to watch a movie. But then, I told my brother that we should just buy DVDs. So we headed to Island Pacific, a filipino store. I bought a tagalog movie. YES I"M FOB!! I’m proud also. Anyways, when we finally got home, I decided to watch "Born on the 4th of July." Now that was such a good movie. It’s pretty old! But damm, its a powerful movie. I really encourage you guys to watch it. I mean sure it can get depressing, but its an eye-opener, considering that we’re at war also. Seriously you guys, if you have the chance, watch the movie!! Anyways, I finished the movie around 7:00 p.m. After the movie, I went to sleep. So basically, I was up for only 5 hours on Sunday. It was crazy!!!